Day 35: The Only Thing that Matters

I was awakened from my afternoon nap by a bunch of screaming kids with their parents in tow funneling into my apartment for snacks a break from the harsh winds outside. They had all been at the park earlier that day. Church friends mostly. They all began to eat and talk and I came out of my hovel to join the conversation. We all sat down and one of the guests began to play the guitar and sing. We all joined in and sang with him. He then asked us to share what had happened to us this week. I began to tell them the story of my week.
Everyone was very encouraging and prayed over me when I was finished. They had heard about my struggles with this journey, the boss, the workouts, the diet. All these things are putting me through the fire and I am in desperate need of their prayers.

I don't know why I say or do the things I do sometimes, but what I am realizing is that I am gonna go through this experience and come out the other side just as human as the day I started. I have so many desires in life and they are all melting away the more I put my trust in God. I want to put God on the forefront and not let anything in this world phase me. Even my own mistakes. I don't want to be inhibited by my human limitations.

So for day 35, I accmomplished the following:

No drinking
No smoking
No lying
No dating

Changes:

I had a fight with the girl last week. Everything seemed to be going really well and then it all fell apart. I ruined things and any chance of getting things back on track unless she forgives me. I can't believe I am still so selfish. But I am putting this in the changes section because it is something I cannot change. That is the realization that I am coming to, why worry about the things I cannot change. I have apologized. what else can I do? It is now out of my control. I am genuinely sorry for what I said and have to live with that. If she doesn't forgive me then I understand.

I am learning that God is the only thing that matters.