Saturday, May 14, 2011

Day 90: Freedom

Finding Freedom in 90 Days is complete today. I have had an interesting and very powerful journey. I have never been in a place in life where I have felt this happy and content. I am living every day for the day itself. I have been searching for freedom on this journey and have found it in several areas. A few thoughts on where.

Freedom has been found in so many areas. Some of the chains I have been freed from I didn't even realize were chains until this journey began. The biggest chain I have been freedom is my dependence on sin. I realize now that true happiness and joy are permanent rather than fleeting. These are feelings that linger in a soul that is in tune with Christ.

So for day 90, I accomplished the following:

I have found freedom and know now to never, never, never give up.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Day 85: Operation Repo

I was watching this show called operation repo tonight. It blows my mind how upset people get when their cars get reposessed. There is an entitlement in america that I don't understand. People feel like they are owed somthing for nothing.

This brings me back to grace. I am amazed at how we as humans are so willing to tell judge whether peeople deserve grace or not. Whether people deserve to keep their car or not. Who are we to judge. Only God knows what someone deserves.

No Drinking
No Smoking
No Lying


I am happy

Day 84: Everything is Spiritual

I have been thinking a lot about my religion and why I am an Adventist. Most of it is because I have been raised that way and I feel like this 90 day experience has really opened up the doors for me to become something better. I feel like this experience has given me the opportunity to internalize the things I am reading and make decisions on religion for myself.

I almost want to abandon religion completely and focus on a relationship with God but I think that church has its place in my spiritual journey. I am not sure what it is exactly but I know I like it. I want so bad to be spiritual because everything is spiritual. If I say that I am not feeling that connection with God then who cares? He created me. I don't have to "feel" a connection. I am connected whether I like it or not. I am a spiritual being because everything is spiritual.

So for day 83, I accomplished the following:

No drinking
No smoking
No lying


Everything is spiritual. I must never forget that.

Day 83: Jeremiah 29. WOW.

I was reading Jeremiah 29 after my run this evening. I was amazed at how God spoke to Him. God had some powerful things to say and they made me tear up.

This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

God is going to do the same for me today. He is going to bring me back from the exile where I have found myself and restore me to life and health. I am excited for this.

So for day 83, I accomplished the following:

No drinking
No smoking
No lying
P90x diet and exercise


I am seeing things a little differently recently. I don't know what it is but I almost see things as if they are going to fade away. It seems that nothing is permanent. I don't know if this is because I know this world and life is temporary or if it is because I am jaded and removed from reality a bit.

Day 82: Eminem Spoke to Me

I was running and listening to a song by Eminem and I couldn't help but think that they lyrics he was writing about his friend (fellow rapper Dr. Dre) sounded like words that one would write to God in a letter. I thought it was interesting that God would use anyone or anything to make an impression.

I told the world, one day I would pay it back.
Say it on tape and lay it, record it, so that one day I could play it back.
But I don't even know if I believe it when I'm saying that.
Doubt startin' to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black.
Hope, I just need a ray of that
'Cause no one sees my vision
When I play it for 'em, they just say it's whack.
But they don't know what dope is.
And I don't know if I was awake or asleep when I wrote this.
All I know is you came to me when I was at my lowest.
You picked me up, breathed new life in me. I owe my life to you.
But for the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do.
But it just dawned on me; you lost a son. Demon's fightin' you, it's dark.
Let me turn on the lights and brighten me and enlighten you.
I don't think you realize what you mean to me, not the slightest clue.
'Cause me and you, were like a crew. I was like your sidekick.....

It was YOU, who believed in me....
You saved my life, now maybe it's my time to save yours.
But I can never repay you, what you did for me is way more.
But I ain't giving up faith, and you ain't giving up on me.

So for day 82, I accomplished the following:

No drinking
No smoking
No lying


I am beginning to pray again which is something I fell out of touch with. I don't know why I did and I don't know why I am starting again all I know is that it is necessary.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Day 81: Softball Pressures

I have recently joined a softball team. I love being on a team again and playing sports. Especially something as close to baseball as this sport is. I have been enjoying being on a team again. The interesting thing is that there is a lot of drinking ans smoking happening all around me and I was worried at first at what pressures could ensue but I have found it surprisingly easy to be around them without the desire to be engaging in what they are.

This team is going to be fun and I am looking forward to it. I don't know what made me do it other than this girl payed for my entrance fee. I am now on the team and am going to make the best of it.

So for day 81, I accomplished the following:

No drinking
No smoking
No lying


I have found that the desires of my old life are past. I have no more desire to continue the actions of my past. I have truly broken the chains that held me back.

Day 80: My Sister is Amazing

This is a blog my sister posted today. I am sharing because it was perfect for what I am going through today, letting go.

Sometimes I think we do that. I think we are clinging to what we know is there but isn't where we want to be. We hang in perilous limbo, hating our lives but not wanting to take that leap. We are safe in our minds but whining to God that we want to be somewhere more solid or more free or more interesting but because we can't see the floor, we cling to the familiar and visible and squeal while he says over and over in a language we sometimes don't understand, "LET GO! Your toes are just an inch from solid ground!"

So for day 80, I accomplished the following:

No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying

I have finally deciided what my next training schedule will look like. It is a half marathon trainikng. wish me luck.