Day 28: Through Smoke

I was discussing diet and exercise with a friend of mine last night. We did P90x together and talking about fitness. It was a good night but then I got on the topic of God in the Old Testament. Many of my conversations turn to God as of late. I don't remember exactly what made me think of this but we began to discuss how God does almost the exact opposite of what humans do. Let me use Grace as an example. When you go to the store, you take the item you want to purchase up to the counter and give money to the clerk. They then ring the item up, give you your change, and give you your item. You have to give something to get something. This is not the case with Grace. You don't have to do anything for it besides accept. That's it. Just take. It seems so selfish but this is how God works. He works contrary to popular belief.

It is a hard thing to give your life completely to God because this means you have to completely empty yourself of your desires. God is the only thing that can consume you, and it is amazing that when you trust in God and let Him take complete control, you no longer care about your dreams and goals because they are no longer relevant. I have a dream of going to law school, marrying a good woman, owning my own business, starting the first Adventist law program. If these dream are not in Gods plans for my life then where does that leave me and God?

For so long my will is what has come between me and God. Every time I wanted something that I knew God didn't want for me, then I pushed God to the side and let myself fall. I still do this. I lose trust in God and I want to play my own game instead of listening to the coaches leading. I still want to fall back into my old ways but I don't because I have made a decision that coincides with Gods will. Finally we are both on the same page and it gives me freedom.

So for day 28, I accomplished the following:

No Drinking
No Smoking
No Lying
No Dating
Alloted Bible passage

Changes:

My heart still hurts for my old ways for some reason. I still care for this girl I wish so bad that she was a part of Gods plan for my life, but its not about me anymore. I am giving up all of me for God. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. I know that true success can only be obtained through Jesus Christ. God is truly making me walk through the desert.

I know it is going to be hard. No one ever said it was going to be easy. Persevere, when things are tough and it is hard to see God. It is hard to trust the unseen, but we have to continue the search through the smoke that clouds our vision.