Day 30: 33.333333333

Today is a day for the record books. I have been doing P90x for 30 days straight and reading my Bible for 30 days as well. I finally get a break from the Bible (not that this is a good thing) but reading generally tires me out. Today is a "rest" day from reading but I read anyways. I also did Plyometrics. Phase 2 of P90x is a little more intense but some of the workouts are the same like Plyo.

My boss and I got into a confrontation today and I came home to work out my rage (frustration actually but rage makes it sound cooler). I was pretty upset while working out. I had texted her and apologized for my argumentative spirit. I should have just listened to her, but alas, I have too much of my mother and father in me to back down. So while I was working out, I kept thinking about it. Then my nephews walked in and began to jump with me (plyometrics is jump training). They were smiling at me and asking me to look at them. They were trying to follow my lead and I just started smiling. I had prayed just before my workout that God would handle the issues I was having and he seemed to answer my prayer in a different way then I thought. Instead of giving me a sign toward resolution with my boss, he changed my spirit and gave me a new attitude. I was no longer angry, I wasn't even thinking about it. I was just enjoying my nephews try to accomplish the seemingly impossible tasks put before them. They were falling and laughing and flailing. It was hilarious.

This also gave me a new thought that I have never entertained before. While I was watching them do their best to overcome childhood clumsiness and complete the moves, I thought that this time spent with them may be the only time in my life that I have been proud of myself as an uncle. Not that I am a great uncle but I was excited that I was being a positive influence toward them for the first time in their lives. They were seeing me do something good with my life instead of something destructive. I want that. I want them to see me working out, eating right, reading my Bible, making positive changes instead of coming home drunk, playing video games, bringing home different girls. They need to see something positive.

So for day 30, I accomplished the following:

No Drinking
No Smoking
P90x Diet and Exercise
No Lying
No Dating

Changes:

I am 1/3 through this journey and I am loving the ride. I look back at the last month and I am excited that I have made it this far. I have a lot of work to do. I am not nearly where I want to be physically, spiritually, or mentally. Yes, I have made progress in all of these areas but I am going to have to turn it all over to God every day if I want to make it through.

Never, Never, Never Give Up!!!!

Day 29: Phase 2

Today is the start of phase 2 in P90X. It is quite the workout. I was extremely fatigued but pushed through it. It was an amazing workout and I feel great because of it. I am really on a push to get under 200 pounds by the end of this month. I thought I could do it last week but I hit a wall as far as weight loss goes. I am trying break through that wall and get back to healthy weight loss. 

I started reading Chronicles today and I have to be honest with you, I don't know why that is in the Bible. It has to be in there for a reason but it is so far just genealogy. It must be there for historical purposes. I don't exactly know.

I was sitting in my car today thinking about what I was going to say in this blog. I thought about the secrets we all have. Some of them are too embarrassing to talk about so we bury them, others might incriminate us, and some things just aren't anybodies business. It all comes down to honesty. Some things other people truly don't need to know, but I think God needs to know. Even thought He can see our hearts the confessions of those dark places in our souls are what He wants to hear. Being honest with yourself and being honest with God is so important.

So for day 29, I accomplished the following:

No Drinking
No Smoking
P90x Diet and Exercise
No Lying
No Dating
Allotted Bible Reading

Changes:

I am looking at ways to improve my diet. I have been following P90x diet and exercise but I am not losing weight like I was. I don't know if I need to increase my caloric intake because my body thinks I am starving or what. I was given a book on the glycemic index and I am going to read about what is necessary for me to sustain healthy weight loss. I hope I get some good tips. I weighed myself today and I was 203 lbs. I think 200 lbs is attainable by the end of this week.

Day 28: Through Smoke

I was discussing diet and exercise with a friend of mine last night. We did P90x together and talking about fitness. It was a good night but then I got on the topic of God in the Old Testament. Many of my conversations turn to God as of late. I don't remember exactly what made me think of this but we began to discuss how God does almost the exact opposite of what humans do. Let me use Grace as an example. When you go to the store, you take the item you want to purchase up to the counter and give money to the clerk. They then ring the item up, give you your change, and give you your item. You have to give something to get something. This is not the case with Grace. You don't have to do anything for it besides accept. That's it. Just take. It seems so selfish but this is how God works. He works contrary to popular belief.

It is a hard thing to give your life completely to God because this means you have to completely empty yourself of your desires. God is the only thing that can consume you, and it is amazing that when you trust in God and let Him take complete control, you no longer care about your dreams and goals because they are no longer relevant. I have a dream of going to law school, marrying a good woman, owning my own business, starting the first Adventist law program. If these dream are not in Gods plans for my life then where does that leave me and God?

For so long my will is what has come between me and God. Every time I wanted something that I knew God didn't want for me, then I pushed God to the side and let myself fall. I still do this. I lose trust in God and I want to play my own game instead of listening to the coaches leading. I still want to fall back into my old ways but I don't because I have made a decision that coincides with Gods will. Finally we are both on the same page and it gives me freedom.

So for day 28, I accomplished the following:

No Drinking
No Smoking
No Lying
No Dating
Alloted Bible passage

Changes:

My heart still hurts for my old ways for some reason. I still care for this girl I wish so bad that she was a part of Gods plan for my life, but its not about me anymore. I am giving up all of me for God. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. I know that true success can only be obtained through Jesus Christ. God is truly making me walk through the desert.

I know it is going to be hard. No one ever said it was going to be easy. Persevere, when things are tough and it is hard to see God. It is hard to trust the unseen, but we have to continue the search through the smoke that clouds our vision.

Day 27: Not a Man

Day 27 made gave me a lot to think about. I am excited to share my journey daily but days like this challenge me a lot. Like I have said, never give up, but days like this make me want to. It was my day off and I didn't work out until late at night. I only read about half of what I was supposed to.

God seems to be challenging me. Rarely do I make decisions based on emotion but I wanted to today. It took some extreme will power and self control to stay on the path. I am starting to recognize the amount of stress that I have in my life. I feel like it is positive stress but stress none the less. This makes me so thankful for the rest days I have and for the Sabbath.

So for Day 27, I accomplished the following:

No drinking
Nosmoking
No lying
P90x Exercise
No dates

Changes:

I want so bad to be the man God made me. I want to be an example to others by my story. I know everyone has a story, and God WILL use any story for Him. This is starting to become a reality. I want others to ask me why I do the things I do and act the way I do. I feel like kind of a pansy saying that. Sometimes I don't feel like much of a man.

Day 26: Plateau

Day 26 was the first time since I have started this journey that I have been tempted by alcohol. Not that someone was handing it to me or anything like that. I was just having a hard day and hadn't really been focused on my goals. I started to think about what would make the day better and that popped into my head.

I find that if I don't pray in the morning for a good day, my day isn't as good. I have less motivation and I get angry at work. I gotta tell ya, I can't stand work sometimes. I get there and I have to deal with a ton of stress from my employees, from my boss, and from the other managers not pulling their weight. I think God is testing me to see how I hold up under pressure or something. The other day I just wanted to give up and walk out and thought my life may be better if I just wasn't in that environment. It is just exhausting and almost more than I can handle some days.

So for Day 26, I accomplished the following:

No Drinking
No Smoking
P90X diet and exercise
No Lying
No Dating

Changes:

I wish I could be in a different situation sometimes but I know that God wants me to continue doing what I am doing. I have been exercising a ton this week. Running every day on top of P90X. It is a lot and adds to the exhaustion but I am still doing it. I have sort of plateaued as far as my weight loss goes. I have stepped it up to try to continue the trend but I am not sure that my work schedule, my diet at work, and my stress levels are conducive to weight loss. I don't eat bad but I think that I am now putting on more muscle mass and that is heavy weight. I know I will start losing again soon if I just stick with it.

Day 25:

If you read the old testament, God seems to be in constant communication with the Israelites and this is in my mind what prayer is but it is barely referred to as prayer. It is more or less called communication. A dialogue. This is sort of a foreign concept to most of us now a days I think because the word prayer referes to this communication but it also refers to so much more.

Now, I know how frustrating it can be to say, "Your will be done" because in all honesty, I can't look back at my life and remember a time when I wanted Gods will to truly be done unless in happened to be what I wanted for my life. That is the nature of selfish humans.

Having said all that, I believe that the word regret used by God in reference to Saul is not the word the author would have chosen if he knew what its meaning was now. I don't believe God actually regretted making Saul King. I think He was sorry about the choices Saul made. And if you think about it, if Saul hadn't made the choices he did, we wouldn't be having this conversation so maybe God allowed it for this exact moment! Do you ever think God raised up a king or allowed a story to be put into the Bible just to that your life could be changed and therefore you cold change lives? Maybe that is why God allowed this word to be put here.  (I am referring to the writing in day 22.)

This comes back to my thoughts on the Bible not being perfect. It was written by humans and I don't think they always used the right words and the translations through the years have given new meanings to old words and so on and so forth. Just because I believe the Bible had errors does not take away from the power of the book. In fact, I think it enhances the majesty and mystery. It begs us to ask questions like these and work through the answers together.

God doesn't make mistakes. And Saul was no exception and neither am I. I am willing to bet that God looks back at me and is sorry for the mistakes I have made. But God doesn't make junk and he doesn't make mistakes. I am here for a reason and so are you.

So for day 25, I accomplished the following:

No Drinking
No Smoking
P90X Diet and Exercise
No Lying
No Dating
Allotted Bible reading

Changes:

I am feeling much more energetic than I used to. If you notice, I said in earlier blogs that if you do something 22 times in a row without breaking the chain, you have developed a habit. Well, I am on day 25 and I have not drank or smoked or dated. I am making habits of not doing things but it is the habits of doing things that I am still working on. I have worked out every day for 25 days except two days. I was sick one, and depressed the other. I will not stop until this exercise becomes such a habit that I won't even have to think about it.

Day 24: Mighty Men

Today was pretty cool. I had a great workout. I always working out my arms because I feel like I am doing a lot of work and I like being sore from a workout. Sculpting my guns. While I was at the gym, I saw this girl that had been to my church before. I recognized her and thought about saying hi but here is the catch, she is gorgeous and I am not dating. I didn't want to even be tempted by the notion so I just kept to myself and continued working out.

I read about David and his mighty men today. The Bible talks about these men as being men of renown. One of them, the leader named Josheb-Basshebeth, killed eight hundred men in one encounter! Another one named Eleazar went to battle with the Philistines and all Israel retreated but he stood his ground and killed Philistines until he got tired and froze to his sword! Shammah, another of the three, stood in a field while Israel again retreated and defeated the Philistine army by himself.

I read these stories and am amazed because there is not a man of renown on this earth today that will ever measure up to these amazing acts. God truly blessed Israel and David and those in his company.

So for day 24, I accomplished the following:

No Drinking
No Smoking
P90X Diet and Exercise
No Lying
No Dates
Allotted Bible Reading

Changes:

I long to be remembered when I die. I read about these mighty men and I see strength, courage, devotion, loyalty, dedication, commitment, and perseverance and I want to bad to have those qualities. I am going through this fire to come out the other end a mighty man.