Day 57: Motivation

The days seem to be going by faster and faster. I don't know why or how but they do. I feel like it was only yesterday that I was starting this challenge. So I went over to a friends house last night to discuss the issues I am having with women and dating. I was given some advice that opened my eyes. She told me that if I really wanted something to happen with this girl, then I would tell her to wait. Wait until I finish the challenge I set out to finish. If she waits, then she just may be worth the risk. If she doesn't then there are other fish in the sea. This will sort of be a test to see whether or not she thinks I am worth it.

So I went over to the girls house and we talked about it. I asked her to respect my journey and she sort of blew me away with her response. She told me she had already been thinking about it and she didn't want to get in the way of this journey. She wanted to back off and respect the challenge. I loved hearing that and I very excited. Not that I want her to wait for me or anything, but I I can finish this challenge I presented to myself without distraction. If she is there at the end that I will be very happy. If not, I will still be happy because I can respect myself.

So for day 57, I accomplished the following:

No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating

Changes:

My motivation has changed significantly. I used to do things because I wanted to be noticed for my efforts but now I am doing things because of God. He is waking me up, giving me energy, filling my heart with happiness and this is what is giving me the strength I need to continue. Ask anyone who knew me before and they will tell you that I was not the most motivated person. In fact, I was lazy. But with the help of God and my new found joy of life, I am able to find pure, unadulterated motivation.

Day 17: Pushing On

I was working out today I began to feel this power. I don't know how to explain it but I was pushing harder and harder without any feeling of fatigue. I just worked harder and harder. I was listening to this song over and over. I posted it a few posts ago. Its about how we need to play the background. I listened carefully to the lyrics and I was inspired I guess. I was motivated. This song talks about how God can take the lead in my life. "Just let me follow you and let me trace your lines". I want that with all that I am. I want to follow God without care of what others think.

I remember the feelings I had a few months ago. I felt like I wasn't a man because I didn't have the appearance of power. Every man wants to feel strong but I am understanding what real strength is. I am reading Joshua like I said yesterday. This book has me thinking about how God can take us from where we were slaves to sin and give us the desires of our hearts. He did it with Israel. He took them to Cannan and gave them all that He had promised. He poured His blessings on them even though they had turned from Him several times. He rewarded them for their persistence. God really held up His end of the bargain.

So for day 17, I accomplished the following:

No Drinking
No Smoking
P90X diet and exercise (plus a 3 mile run)
No lying
No dates

Changes:

This is the first time in my life that I have began to make positive habits for myself. I am noticing that every day I work out and read my Bible, I am motivated to continue. It seems that it is all I think about. I wake up and can't wait to read and work out. I feel better than I have ever felt.

"But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

Day 12: Motivated Much?

Day 12 was an absolute bust much like day 11. I am feeling depressed these last couple days and just absolutely lonely. I keep looking back instead of looking at now. I keep looking at what I don't have instead of what I do have. I have been a glass half empty kind of guy the last few days. I hate it when I get in this funk and can not bring myself out of it.

I am trying to use God as a compass and give my life to Him every day but the trials of life are hard. It is hard to go to work at all different hours and work at a place like McDonald's. It is hard to know that I am not going to move up in the corporate chain. I told them that I was going to leave in the summer trying to be honest with my intentions and ever since then they have thrown me to the wayside and promoted everyone else. I feel stuck now and it is all because I have integrity? I don't know about that. I don't know if I would rather have the promotions and the raises to help my future career and resume or have the integrity of knowing that I was honest with my employer. I feel like I would rather have integrity but where has it gotten me?

So for day 12, I accomplished the following:

No Drinking
No Smoking
No Lying

Changes:

I have noticed that I am much more tired than I ever used to be. I am finding it hard to keep my body fueled because I can't eat until after work so I have to wait all day. I need to give my body fuel or I am going to burn out. But once again, I am losing a lot of weight.

I wonder why I have felt so down the last couple days? I told myself that I would get back on track tomorrow because Friday is my day off and I have time to figure things out. I know that I have said that tomorrow never comes, so I need to find the motivation today. There is a saying that my father always used to use. I think everyone should take it to heart and live by it.

"If not me, then who? If not now, then when?"