I shared a song with you a while ago and it says that I can play the background. God can take the lead. This statement came to my mind while driving this morning. I want to play the background to God. No focus on me because none of this journey would be possible without Him.
So I have been thinking about what I am going to do after my journey is done. I am almost two weeks from completion. I have been thinking about what happens after I am done. If this journey has really showed me freedom or if I have found it. I have been freed from some things but I don't know if I have truly found the freedom I was looking for.
"It's not the end. It matters how you're gonna finish. Are you going to finish strong?"
So for day 75, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I have accepted the Grace of God. This is one of the first times I have accepted Gods grace in its pure form. This is in my belief, the freedom that I am searching for.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Day 74: I've Said it Before and I'll Say it Again
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author unknown
So for day 74, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I am losing weight again and noticing a marked improvement in my body. I love the change and am starting to see muscle definition. This is the first time in my life I have thought that it was possible for me to have abs.
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author unknown
So for day 74, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I am losing weight again and noticing a marked improvement in my body. I love the change and am starting to see muscle definition. This is the first time in my life I have thought that it was possible for me to have abs.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Day 73: Hope
Today I was reading Isaiah. I was thinking about running and came across this verse in Isaiah 53? I think. It said that if we hope in the Lord we shall mount up on wings like eagles, we shall run and not grow weary, walk and not faint. I was encouraged by this because I have been discouraged about my workouts lately. I have been tired while running and have had trouble getting through P90x. Not sure why.
The other part of this verse is so encouraging because all it asks us to do in order to have the blessings is to hope in the Lord. That's it. Nothing else is required. I have a hope in my God and a hope for the future. Even if this whole world turns out to be a dream or if Christianity is some phony religion made up ages ago, hope is what will keep me on the right path and give me a better life. If this whole life was a farce, then I have lost nothing, but if I have hope in something and it turns out to be real then I have gained everything.
So for day 73, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x Diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I was hanging out with my buddy and his wife this evening. I was telling them about the chains that I have broken during this 90 days and about the chains I have found that I didn't know I had. This whole experience is about finding freedom, not about finding bondage. But I guess if you don't know what holds you back, you can't address it. So I found a new chain in my life. I am going to have to confront this burden and release myself from its grip. It is going to be hard and I am not going to go into too much detail on this one because it is so personal. But a conversation is going to have to take place and I don't want to be condemning. I need prayer on this one.
The other part of this verse is so encouraging because all it asks us to do in order to have the blessings is to hope in the Lord. That's it. Nothing else is required. I have a hope in my God and a hope for the future. Even if this whole world turns out to be a dream or if Christianity is some phony religion made up ages ago, hope is what will keep me on the right path and give me a better life. If this whole life was a farce, then I have lost nothing, but if I have hope in something and it turns out to be real then I have gained everything.
So for day 73, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x Diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I was hanging out with my buddy and his wife this evening. I was telling them about the chains that I have broken during this 90 days and about the chains I have found that I didn't know I had. This whole experience is about finding freedom, not about finding bondage. But I guess if you don't know what holds you back, you can't address it. So I found a new chain in my life. I am going to have to confront this burden and release myself from its grip. It is going to be hard and I am not going to go into too much detail on this one because it is so personal. But a conversation is going to have to take place and I don't want to be condemning. I need prayer on this one.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Day 72: Planning for the Unexpected
Today was a day of contentment once again for me. I woke up and felt alive and energized. I was happy with life. I have finally balanced everything well and have re-prioritized myself. I am able to get things done and have time to watch the Rockies game.
I love sports, maybe a little too much. I have to take a step back sometimes and realize what those distractions I have talked about before are. I have, all too many times, set sports in front of my other priorities just because the timing. I get home and there is a game on so I push everything back a few hours to watch it. I don't like that. I think this is one of my biggest distractions.
I want to have priorities that I want to accomplish. I guess you could say that there are priorities that people want to do and priorities that people need to do. Making your life full of priorities you want to do seems the easy way. Making your life full of priorities that you need to do seems the right way. So when do the priorities I want to do become the priorities I need to do?
So for day 72, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I have made my life easier by sticking to plans. I have plans for everything now. I have plans for working out. Plans for eating. Plans for sleeping. Plans for reading. When life gets in the way of our plans then what? This is what I mean by priorities. I have balanced things well but now what? If life gets in the way again will I go through another valley? I guess the key to success is planning for the unexpected as well.
I love sports, maybe a little too much. I have to take a step back sometimes and realize what those distractions I have talked about before are. I have, all too many times, set sports in front of my other priorities just because the timing. I get home and there is a game on so I push everything back a few hours to watch it. I don't like that. I think this is one of my biggest distractions.
I want to have priorities that I want to accomplish. I guess you could say that there are priorities that people want to do and priorities that people need to do. Making your life full of priorities you want to do seems the easy way. Making your life full of priorities that you need to do seems the right way. So when do the priorities I want to do become the priorities I need to do?
So for day 72, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I have made my life easier by sticking to plans. I have plans for everything now. I have plans for working out. Plans for eating. Plans for sleeping. Plans for reading. When life gets in the way of our plans then what? This is what I mean by priorities. I have balanced things well but now what? If life gets in the way again will I go through another valley? I guess the key to success is planning for the unexpected as well.
Day 71: Just Listens
What an incredible evening. I found this spot during one of my runs that takes me through the wilderness behind Alamosa. The path runs beside the river and is beautiful to run beside. The run is fairly peaceful and illegal I think because there are No Trespassing signs, but it is a clearly marked path and I can tell people run there a lot. Just off the path there is a little beach beside the river that is sort of secluded. It has willows that guard the beach from view and you wouldn't know it was there unless you went searching for it.
That is exactly what I did the first time I found it. Curiosity led me to it. I would sit there and pray sometimes. The other day I took this girl out there and we started a fire. We sat out there until late and ate smores and talked. It was one of the best nights I have ever had in Alamosa. It was peaceful and calm. We had gotten there just after a rain storm. We talked about the journey we were both on and how God had been infecting our lives. It was nice to share with someone who understands my journey and doesn't judge. Doesn't solicit advice. Doesn't try to change me. Just listens.
So for day 71, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
Today, I felt content. This is a feeling I haven't had in a long time.
That is exactly what I did the first time I found it. Curiosity led me to it. I would sit there and pray sometimes. The other day I took this girl out there and we started a fire. We sat out there until late and ate smores and talked. It was one of the best nights I have ever had in Alamosa. It was peaceful and calm. We had gotten there just after a rain storm. We talked about the journey we were both on and how God had been infecting our lives. It was nice to share with someone who understands my journey and doesn't judge. Doesn't solicit advice. Doesn't try to change me. Just listens.
So for day 71, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
Today, I felt content. This is a feeling I haven't had in a long time.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Day 70: Change my Attitude
Church has been frustrating for me recently. I have been sitting there going through the motions of tradition. This outlined service that we do every week. Nothing new. Nothing unexpected. Just the same routine. I listen to the same prayer and same songs. I hear the "sincerity" in peoples voices but I don't know if I believe it.
I experienced the true reason for church a few weeks ago. A buddy of mine and I have been experiencing some of the same struggles in our walk with God and he has just been inviting me to hang out with him and work out. It has been very encouraging to have friends like him and his wife. I believe this is what church is supposed to be. Friends being there for friends.
So for day 70, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I guess I am going to have to try to change my attitude about church. Either that or try to change church. This is a fork in the road for me because both of these choices are going to take work on my part.
I experienced the true reason for church a few weeks ago. A buddy of mine and I have been experiencing some of the same struggles in our walk with God and he has just been inviting me to hang out with him and work out. It has been very encouraging to have friends like him and his wife. I believe this is what church is supposed to be. Friends being there for friends.
So for day 70, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I guess I am going to have to try to change my attitude about church. Either that or try to change church. This is a fork in the road for me because both of these choices are going to take work on my part.
Day 69: Decisions, Decisions
I feel like I am supposed to catch up today but I have been taking it easy for some stupid reason. I am distracted and I have no motivation to continue. I don't know why I go through these valleys and slumps. I wish that I could be focused on my goal all the time but I sometimes fall short. I am going to hang out with this girl tonight and I seem to have to motivation to do that so why can't I have the motivation to read and work out?
I have been doing quite a bit of reading but it has been catch up and I am not getting anything out of it. I am going to have to refocus this weekend and discipline myself. That is what this is all about isn't it? Discipline.
So for day 69, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I am going clothes shopping soon and have to keep a close eye on my finances. I need to buy new clothes that fit me but I can't really afford it. So this got me thinking about a career and I have been talking to my dad about running his business. If I do that, I would have to stay here in Alamosa. I don't know if that is a smart move or not but I am going to have to decide. Decisions, decisions.
I have been doing quite a bit of reading but it has been catch up and I am not getting anything out of it. I am going to have to refocus this weekend and discipline myself. That is what this is all about isn't it? Discipline.
So for day 69, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I am going clothes shopping soon and have to keep a close eye on my finances. I need to buy new clothes that fit me but I can't really afford it. So this got me thinking about a career and I have been talking to my dad about running his business. If I do that, I would have to stay here in Alamosa. I don't know if that is a smart move or not but I am going to have to decide. Decisions, decisions.
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