Finding Freedom in 90 Days is complete today. I have had an interesting and very powerful journey. I have never been in a place in life where I have felt this happy and content. I am living every day for the day itself. I have been searching for freedom on this journey and have found it in several areas. A few thoughts on where.
Freedom has been found in so many areas. Some of the chains I have been freed from I didn't even realize were chains until this journey began. The biggest chain I have been freedom is my dependence on sin. I realize now that true happiness and joy are permanent rather than fleeting. These are feelings that linger in a soul that is in tune with Christ.
So for day 90, I accomplished the following:
I have found freedom and know now to never, never, never give up.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Day 85: Operation Repo
I was watching this show called operation repo tonight. It blows my mind how upset people get when their cars get reposessed. There is an entitlement in america that I don't understand. People feel like they are owed somthing for nothing.
This brings me back to grace. I am amazed at how we as humans are so willing to tell judge whether peeople deserve grace or not. Whether people deserve to keep their car or not. Who are we to judge. Only God knows what someone deserves.
No Drinking
No Smoking
No Lying
Changes:
I am happy
This brings me back to grace. I am amazed at how we as humans are so willing to tell judge whether peeople deserve grace or not. Whether people deserve to keep their car or not. Who are we to judge. Only God knows what someone deserves.
No Drinking
No Smoking
No Lying
Changes:
I am happy
Day 84: Everything is Spiritual
I have been thinking a lot about my religion and why I am an Adventist. Most of it is because I have been raised that way and I feel like this 90 day experience has really opened up the doors for me to become something better. I feel like this experience has given me the opportunity to internalize the things I am reading and make decisions on religion for myself.
I almost want to abandon religion completely and focus on a relationship with God but I think that church has its place in my spiritual journey. I am not sure what it is exactly but I know I like it. I want so bad to be spiritual because everything is spiritual. If I say that I am not feeling that connection with God then who cares? He created me. I don't have to "feel" a connection. I am connected whether I like it or not. I am a spiritual being because everything is spiritual.
So for day 83, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
Everything is spiritual. I must never forget that.
I almost want to abandon religion completely and focus on a relationship with God but I think that church has its place in my spiritual journey. I am not sure what it is exactly but I know I like it. I want so bad to be spiritual because everything is spiritual. If I say that I am not feeling that connection with God then who cares? He created me. I don't have to "feel" a connection. I am connected whether I like it or not. I am a spiritual being because everything is spiritual.
So for day 83, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
Everything is spiritual. I must never forget that.
Day 83: Jeremiah 29. WOW.
I was reading Jeremiah 29 after my run this evening. I was amazed at how God spoke to Him. God had some powerful things to say and they made me tear up.
This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
God is going to do the same for me today. He is going to bring me back from the exile where I have found myself and restore me to life and health. I am excited for this.
So for day 83, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
P90x diet and exercise
Changes:
I am seeing things a little differently recently. I don't know what it is but I almost see things as if they are going to fade away. It seems that nothing is permanent. I don't know if this is because I know this world and life is temporary or if it is because I am jaded and removed from reality a bit.
This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
God is going to do the same for me today. He is going to bring me back from the exile where I have found myself and restore me to life and health. I am excited for this.
So for day 83, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
P90x diet and exercise
Changes:
I am seeing things a little differently recently. I don't know what it is but I almost see things as if they are going to fade away. It seems that nothing is permanent. I don't know if this is because I know this world and life is temporary or if it is because I am jaded and removed from reality a bit.
Day 82: Eminem Spoke to Me
I was running and listening to a song by Eminem and I couldn't help but think that they lyrics he was writing about his friend (fellow rapper Dr. Dre) sounded like words that one would write to God in a letter. I thought it was interesting that God would use anyone or anything to make an impression.
[Eminem]
I told the world, one day I would pay it back.
Say it on tape and lay it, record it, so that one day I could play it back.
But I don't even know if I believe it when I'm saying that.
Doubt startin' to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black.
Hope, I just need a ray of that
'Cause no one sees my vision
When I play it for 'em, they just say it's whack.
But they don't know what dope is.
And I don't know if I was awake or asleep when I wrote this.
All I know is you came to me when I was at my lowest.
You picked me up, breathed new life in me. I owe my life to you.
But for the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do.
But it just dawned on me; you lost a son. Demon's fightin' you, it's dark.
Let me turn on the lights and brighten me and enlighten you.
I don't think you realize what you mean to me, not the slightest clue.
'Cause me and you, were like a crew. I was like your sidekick.....
...
It was YOU, who believed in me....
You saved my life, now maybe it's my time to save yours.
But I can never repay you, what you did for me is way more.
But I ain't giving up faith, and you ain't giving up on me.
So for day 82, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I am beginning to pray again which is something I fell out of touch with. I don't know why I did and I don't know why I am starting again all I know is that it is necessary.
[Eminem]
I told the world, one day I would pay it back.
Say it on tape and lay it, record it, so that one day I could play it back.
But I don't even know if I believe it when I'm saying that.
Doubt startin' to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black.
Hope, I just need a ray of that
'Cause no one sees my vision
When I play it for 'em, they just say it's whack.
But they don't know what dope is.
And I don't know if I was awake or asleep when I wrote this.
All I know is you came to me when I was at my lowest.
You picked me up, breathed new life in me. I owe my life to you.
But for the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do.
But it just dawned on me; you lost a son. Demon's fightin' you, it's dark.
Let me turn on the lights and brighten me and enlighten you.
I don't think you realize what you mean to me, not the slightest clue.
'Cause me and you, were like a crew. I was like your sidekick.....
...
It was YOU, who believed in me....
You saved my life, now maybe it's my time to save yours.
But I can never repay you, what you did for me is way more.
But I ain't giving up faith, and you ain't giving up on me.
So for day 82, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I am beginning to pray again which is something I fell out of touch with. I don't know why I did and I don't know why I am starting again all I know is that it is necessary.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Day 81: Softball Pressures
I have recently joined a softball team. I love being on a team again and playing sports. Especially something as close to baseball as this sport is. I have been enjoying being on a team again. The interesting thing is that there is a lot of drinking ans smoking happening all around me and I was worried at first at what pressures could ensue but I have found it surprisingly easy to be around them without the desire to be engaging in what they are.
This team is going to be fun and I am looking forward to it. I don't know what made me do it other than this girl payed for my entrance fee. I am now on the team and am going to make the best of it.
So for day 81, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I have found that the desires of my old life are past. I have no more desire to continue the actions of my past. I have truly broken the chains that held me back.
This team is going to be fun and I am looking forward to it. I don't know what made me do it other than this girl payed for my entrance fee. I am now on the team and am going to make the best of it.
So for day 81, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I have found that the desires of my old life are past. I have no more desire to continue the actions of my past. I have truly broken the chains that held me back.
Day 80: My Sister is Amazing
This is a blog my sister posted today. I am sharing because it was perfect for what I am going through today, letting go.
Sometimes I think we do that. I think we are clinging to what we know is there but isn't where we want to be. We hang in perilous limbo, hating our lives but not wanting to take that leap. We are safe in our minds but whining to God that we want to be somewhere more solid or more free or more interesting but because we can't see the floor, we cling to the familiar and visible and squeal while he says over and over in a language we sometimes don't understand, "LET GO! Your toes are just an inch from solid ground!"
http://andycallie.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/tippy-toes/
So for day 80, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
Changes:
I have finally deciided what my next training schedule will look like. It is a half marathon trainikng. wish me luck.
Sometimes I think we do that. I think we are clinging to what we know is there but isn't where we want to be. We hang in perilous limbo, hating our lives but not wanting to take that leap. We are safe in our minds but whining to God that we want to be somewhere more solid or more free or more interesting but because we can't see the floor, we cling to the familiar and visible and squeal while he says over and over in a language we sometimes don't understand, "LET GO! Your toes are just an inch from solid ground!"
http://andycallie.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/tippy-toes/
So for day 80, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
Changes:
I have finally deciided what my next training schedule will look like. It is a half marathon trainikng. wish me luck.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Day 79: Funny
Paper clips annoy me. Once you bend a paperclip, you can never get it back to its original shape. I have an oral fixation and have to have a paperclip or toothpick in my mouth when I am at work. I end up bending my paperclip and then I am just livid that I can't get it back into shape. Especially when it's the last paperclip. Then you have those little boxes that have a hole in the too with a magnet and you fill the box with paperclips and they stick to the magnet. I always try to bury the misshapen paperclip at the bottom of the box but it inevitably finds its way to the top.
I like chewing on the coated paperclips. They have a little plastic cover and you can pull the cover off. I don't know what to do with it once I pull it off. I try to put it back on the paperclip but that is like fishing a tennis ball through a straw because when they cut the paperclip from the long metal piece, it made the ends just a little rugged and sharp.
The point of this is simple. I don't know why I don't just throw the paperclip and its casing away. I guess I feel guilty throwing something away when it belongs to the company I work for. If the cleaning lady found my trashcan full of misshapen paperclips and chewed up sheaths she may get the wrong idea. I don't know what idea she may think but I know it won't be good. She could tell my boss and he will make me pay for my oral fixation and that will get around the office. Embarrassing. Or she could think that I am using them to clean parts of my body.
I would rather just hid the evidence in the little box.
So for day 79, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
Like I said, I have felt content. I am glad I have this exxperience and week to gear up for the end.
I like chewing on the coated paperclips. They have a little plastic cover and you can pull the cover off. I don't know what to do with it once I pull it off. I try to put it back on the paperclip but that is like fishing a tennis ball through a straw because when they cut the paperclip from the long metal piece, it made the ends just a little rugged and sharp.
The point of this is simple. I don't know why I don't just throw the paperclip and its casing away. I guess I feel guilty throwing something away when it belongs to the company I work for. If the cleaning lady found my trashcan full of misshapen paperclips and chewed up sheaths she may get the wrong idea. I don't know what idea she may think but I know it won't be good. She could tell my boss and he will make me pay for my oral fixation and that will get around the office. Embarrassing. Or she could think that I am using them to clean parts of my body.
I would rather just hid the evidence in the little box.
So for day 79, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
Like I said, I have felt content. I am glad I have this exxperience and week to gear up for the end.
Day 78: Content
I wanted to share something to sort of lighten the mood and coincides with how I am feeling this week. I have sort of felt this weird contentment with my current situation in life. I have been happy with the relationship I have developed with this girl. She has been so supportive of this journey and I can see a happy future with her if that is the direction I decide to go.
So here is the video.
So for day 78, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
Like I said, I feel content with where I am in life. This can be good and scary because Paul says to be content in any situation, but contentment can also lead to being lazy and unmotivated. Contentment means that you aren't pushing yourself anymore. It is time to start thinking about my next big challenge.
So here is the video.
So for day 78, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
Like I said, I feel content with where I am in life. This can be good and scary because Paul says to be content in any situation, but contentment can also lead to being lazy and unmotivated. Contentment means that you aren't pushing yourself anymore. It is time to start thinking about my next big challenge.
Day 77: Make Lemonade
There is a saying that goes, "if life hands you lemons, make lemonade." I don't know the best way to respond to that statement. It is fairly optimistic. Optimism is something I don't necessarily understand. I tend to look at things from the stand point of what could go wrong. I look at all sides of a scenario. I like to see what will happen in all situations. I guess it is a cautious outlook. It is safe to look at life and try to predict the outcome of your decisions rather than making decisions based on emotions.
So for day 77, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x Diet and exercise
No lying
Changes:
I have decided to take this week off from P90x so that I can hit the last week hard. I am extremely tired and need a recovery week. Next week is supposed to be that week but I am feeling it catch up with me.
I am going to recover and take her easy.
So for day 77, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x Diet and exercise
No lying
Changes:
I have decided to take this week off from P90x so that I can hit the last week hard. I am extremely tired and need a recovery week. Next week is supposed to be that week but I am feeling it catch up with me.
I am going to recover and take her easy.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Day 76: Rain
I was sitting in church the other day and I was listening to our pastor sing a song about how we had been in a drought and needed rain. He was talking about a spiritual desert and needing God to be the rain because the soil was ready for the rain. This song hit me hard. I started crying. God has been working in my life the last couple of months preparing the soil and making me walk the desert. Now, God is going to bring the rain. He is going to nourish my life and I am going to grow.
So for day 76, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I am feeling a little twinge of no motivation due to the fact that I am so close to the end. But it matters how I finish. I need to finish strong.
So for day 76, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I am feeling a little twinge of no motivation due to the fact that I am so close to the end. But it matters how I finish. I need to finish strong.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Day 75: It's Not the End
I shared a song with you a while ago and it says that I can play the background. God can take the lead. This statement came to my mind while driving this morning. I want to play the background to God. No focus on me because none of this journey would be possible without Him.
So I have been thinking about what I am going to do after my journey is done. I am almost two weeks from completion. I have been thinking about what happens after I am done. If this journey has really showed me freedom or if I have found it. I have been freed from some things but I don't know if I have truly found the freedom I was looking for.
"It's not the end. It matters how you're gonna finish. Are you going to finish strong?"
So for day 75, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I have accepted the Grace of God. This is one of the first times I have accepted Gods grace in its pure form. This is in my belief, the freedom that I am searching for.
So I have been thinking about what I am going to do after my journey is done. I am almost two weeks from completion. I have been thinking about what happens after I am done. If this journey has really showed me freedom or if I have found it. I have been freed from some things but I don't know if I have truly found the freedom I was looking for.
"It's not the end. It matters how you're gonna finish. Are you going to finish strong?"
So for day 75, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I have accepted the Grace of God. This is one of the first times I have accepted Gods grace in its pure form. This is in my belief, the freedom that I am searching for.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Day 74: I've Said it Before and I'll Say it Again
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author unknown
So for day 74, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I am losing weight again and noticing a marked improvement in my body. I love the change and am starting to see muscle definition. This is the first time in my life I have thought that it was possible for me to have abs.
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author unknown
So for day 74, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I am losing weight again and noticing a marked improvement in my body. I love the change and am starting to see muscle definition. This is the first time in my life I have thought that it was possible for me to have abs.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Day 73: Hope
Today I was reading Isaiah. I was thinking about running and came across this verse in Isaiah 53? I think. It said that if we hope in the Lord we shall mount up on wings like eagles, we shall run and not grow weary, walk and not faint. I was encouraged by this because I have been discouraged about my workouts lately. I have been tired while running and have had trouble getting through P90x. Not sure why.
The other part of this verse is so encouraging because all it asks us to do in order to have the blessings is to hope in the Lord. That's it. Nothing else is required. I have a hope in my God and a hope for the future. Even if this whole world turns out to be a dream or if Christianity is some phony religion made up ages ago, hope is what will keep me on the right path and give me a better life. If this whole life was a farce, then I have lost nothing, but if I have hope in something and it turns out to be real then I have gained everything.
So for day 73, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x Diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I was hanging out with my buddy and his wife this evening. I was telling them about the chains that I have broken during this 90 days and about the chains I have found that I didn't know I had. This whole experience is about finding freedom, not about finding bondage. But I guess if you don't know what holds you back, you can't address it. So I found a new chain in my life. I am going to have to confront this burden and release myself from its grip. It is going to be hard and I am not going to go into too much detail on this one because it is so personal. But a conversation is going to have to take place and I don't want to be condemning. I need prayer on this one.
The other part of this verse is so encouraging because all it asks us to do in order to have the blessings is to hope in the Lord. That's it. Nothing else is required. I have a hope in my God and a hope for the future. Even if this whole world turns out to be a dream or if Christianity is some phony religion made up ages ago, hope is what will keep me on the right path and give me a better life. If this whole life was a farce, then I have lost nothing, but if I have hope in something and it turns out to be real then I have gained everything.
So for day 73, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x Diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I was hanging out with my buddy and his wife this evening. I was telling them about the chains that I have broken during this 90 days and about the chains I have found that I didn't know I had. This whole experience is about finding freedom, not about finding bondage. But I guess if you don't know what holds you back, you can't address it. So I found a new chain in my life. I am going to have to confront this burden and release myself from its grip. It is going to be hard and I am not going to go into too much detail on this one because it is so personal. But a conversation is going to have to take place and I don't want to be condemning. I need prayer on this one.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Day 72: Planning for the Unexpected
Today was a day of contentment once again for me. I woke up and felt alive and energized. I was happy with life. I have finally balanced everything well and have re-prioritized myself. I am able to get things done and have time to watch the Rockies game.
I love sports, maybe a little too much. I have to take a step back sometimes and realize what those distractions I have talked about before are. I have, all too many times, set sports in front of my other priorities just because the timing. I get home and there is a game on so I push everything back a few hours to watch it. I don't like that. I think this is one of my biggest distractions.
I want to have priorities that I want to accomplish. I guess you could say that there are priorities that people want to do and priorities that people need to do. Making your life full of priorities you want to do seems the easy way. Making your life full of priorities that you need to do seems the right way. So when do the priorities I want to do become the priorities I need to do?
So for day 72, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I have made my life easier by sticking to plans. I have plans for everything now. I have plans for working out. Plans for eating. Plans for sleeping. Plans for reading. When life gets in the way of our plans then what? This is what I mean by priorities. I have balanced things well but now what? If life gets in the way again will I go through another valley? I guess the key to success is planning for the unexpected as well.
I love sports, maybe a little too much. I have to take a step back sometimes and realize what those distractions I have talked about before are. I have, all too many times, set sports in front of my other priorities just because the timing. I get home and there is a game on so I push everything back a few hours to watch it. I don't like that. I think this is one of my biggest distractions.
I want to have priorities that I want to accomplish. I guess you could say that there are priorities that people want to do and priorities that people need to do. Making your life full of priorities you want to do seems the easy way. Making your life full of priorities that you need to do seems the right way. So when do the priorities I want to do become the priorities I need to do?
So for day 72, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
I have made my life easier by sticking to plans. I have plans for everything now. I have plans for working out. Plans for eating. Plans for sleeping. Plans for reading. When life gets in the way of our plans then what? This is what I mean by priorities. I have balanced things well but now what? If life gets in the way again will I go through another valley? I guess the key to success is planning for the unexpected as well.
Day 71: Just Listens
What an incredible evening. I found this spot during one of my runs that takes me through the wilderness behind Alamosa. The path runs beside the river and is beautiful to run beside. The run is fairly peaceful and illegal I think because there are No Trespassing signs, but it is a clearly marked path and I can tell people run there a lot. Just off the path there is a little beach beside the river that is sort of secluded. It has willows that guard the beach from view and you wouldn't know it was there unless you went searching for it.
That is exactly what I did the first time I found it. Curiosity led me to it. I would sit there and pray sometimes. The other day I took this girl out there and we started a fire. We sat out there until late and ate smores and talked. It was one of the best nights I have ever had in Alamosa. It was peaceful and calm. We had gotten there just after a rain storm. We talked about the journey we were both on and how God had been infecting our lives. It was nice to share with someone who understands my journey and doesn't judge. Doesn't solicit advice. Doesn't try to change me. Just listens.
So for day 71, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
Today, I felt content. This is a feeling I haven't had in a long time.
That is exactly what I did the first time I found it. Curiosity led me to it. I would sit there and pray sometimes. The other day I took this girl out there and we started a fire. We sat out there until late and ate smores and talked. It was one of the best nights I have ever had in Alamosa. It was peaceful and calm. We had gotten there just after a rain storm. We talked about the journey we were both on and how God had been infecting our lives. It was nice to share with someone who understands my journey and doesn't judge. Doesn't solicit advice. Doesn't try to change me. Just listens.
So for day 71, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
No dating
Changes:
Today, I felt content. This is a feeling I haven't had in a long time.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Day 70: Change my Attitude
Church has been frustrating for me recently. I have been sitting there going through the motions of tradition. This outlined service that we do every week. Nothing new. Nothing unexpected. Just the same routine. I listen to the same prayer and same songs. I hear the "sincerity" in peoples voices but I don't know if I believe it.
I experienced the true reason for church a few weeks ago. A buddy of mine and I have been experiencing some of the same struggles in our walk with God and he has just been inviting me to hang out with him and work out. It has been very encouraging to have friends like him and his wife. I believe this is what church is supposed to be. Friends being there for friends.
So for day 70, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I guess I am going to have to try to change my attitude about church. Either that or try to change church. This is a fork in the road for me because both of these choices are going to take work on my part.
I experienced the true reason for church a few weeks ago. A buddy of mine and I have been experiencing some of the same struggles in our walk with God and he has just been inviting me to hang out with him and work out. It has been very encouraging to have friends like him and his wife. I believe this is what church is supposed to be. Friends being there for friends.
So for day 70, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I guess I am going to have to try to change my attitude about church. Either that or try to change church. This is a fork in the road for me because both of these choices are going to take work on my part.
Day 69: Decisions, Decisions
I feel like I am supposed to catch up today but I have been taking it easy for some stupid reason. I am distracted and I have no motivation to continue. I don't know why I go through these valleys and slumps. I wish that I could be focused on my goal all the time but I sometimes fall short. I am going to hang out with this girl tonight and I seem to have to motivation to do that so why can't I have the motivation to read and work out?
I have been doing quite a bit of reading but it has been catch up and I am not getting anything out of it. I am going to have to refocus this weekend and discipline myself. That is what this is all about isn't it? Discipline.
So for day 69, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I am going clothes shopping soon and have to keep a close eye on my finances. I need to buy new clothes that fit me but I can't really afford it. So this got me thinking about a career and I have been talking to my dad about running his business. If I do that, I would have to stay here in Alamosa. I don't know if that is a smart move or not but I am going to have to decide. Decisions, decisions.
I have been doing quite a bit of reading but it has been catch up and I am not getting anything out of it. I am going to have to refocus this weekend and discipline myself. That is what this is all about isn't it? Discipline.
So for day 69, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
No lying
Changes:
I am going clothes shopping soon and have to keep a close eye on my finances. I need to buy new clothes that fit me but I can't really afford it. So this got me thinking about a career and I have been talking to my dad about running his business. If I do that, I would have to stay here in Alamosa. I don't know if that is a smart move or not but I am going to have to decide. Decisions, decisions.
Day 68: Getting the Feeling Back
Today I began to read Isaiah. It is an interesting book and I don't know yet what to think. I have been getting away from the meaning of my reading. I just read now and get very little from it. I don't know if that is because the reading I am engaging in is more encouragement rather than history. I don't know but whatever it is, I want the old feeling back.
I know that decisions in life shouldn't be made based on my decisions but can I help it? Why else did God give us feelings?
So for day 68, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
Changes:
I have the desire to share my testimony for some reason.
I know that decisions in life shouldn't be made based on my decisions but can I help it? Why else did God give us feelings?
So for day 68, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x diet and exercise
No lying
Changes:
I have the desire to share my testimony for some reason.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Day 67: Positive Influences
Distraction is an interesting concept because it seems I am constantly distracted. But if I am focusing on the distractions then the distractions are really my goal and not a distraction at all but success instead right? I only ask because the reality is that everything I do is a distraction from something else. Whether I am working out to distract myself from the mundane life of sitting on the couch watching TV or I am at work checking my facebook to distract me from the frustration and stress of the environment.
It seems that I am living in a constant state of distraction. Even this journey is a distraction from the negative things in my life. My question is when does life become real? When do I just live a full and honest life with no distractions? When are my intentions, my heart, my integrity, and my will going to be strong enough that distraction never needs to be a part of my vocabulary?
Sol for day 67, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x Diet and exercise
No lying
Changes:
My motivation is sort of stagnant. I am finding it hard to continue this experience and keep up with the rigorous schedule. But the difference now has been good friends encouraging me and helping me through. Friends that call to work out with me and ask if I have finished my reading. Positive influences.
It seems that I am living in a constant state of distraction. Even this journey is a distraction from the negative things in my life. My question is when does life become real? When do I just live a full and honest life with no distractions? When are my intentions, my heart, my integrity, and my will going to be strong enough that distraction never needs to be a part of my vocabulary?
Sol for day 67, I accomplished the following:
No drinking
No smoking
P90x Diet and exercise
No lying
Changes:
My motivation is sort of stagnant. I am finding it hard to continue this experience and keep up with the rigorous schedule. But the difference now has been good friends encouraging me and helping me through. Friends that call to work out with me and ask if I have finished my reading. Positive influences.
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